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User blog:GameboyAdv/Blog of Death Battle: That one time Joker was pretty much God Part 1
Hi I haven't done this in a while. So, we all know the Joker right, most iconic comic villain of all time, arch nemesis to Batman himself, but he's always just been a normal guy right? Wrong... You see there was this one time where Joker literally stole 99% of Mr. Mxyzptlk's powers and became a reality warping multiversal level god that created a topsy turvy world where everything was pretty much completely psychotic. Strap in everyone this one's a doozy. The first issue of this comic features Superman, in Arkham for the murder of Goku- I mean Lex Luthor. He breaks out of the place and is confronted by the leader of the Justice League, Bizarro. No I didn't mix those two names up, Bizarro leads the Justice League and fights Superman breaking out of Arkham. There are some other...oddities with this world such as Lois Lane has now taken Lex Luthor's place as a bald-but-brilliant scientist, and is the CEO of "LaneCorp". Jimmy Olsen, meanwhile, has the moniker of "Gravedigger Lad", who manages Bizarro's "Graveyard of Solitude". Last but not least, Aquaman has become a grotesque fish-human hybrid dubbed "Fishface", who attacks both Superman and Bizarro for going into the water, stating that "If Aquaman cannot go into the water, then no one does!" What the fuck... Bizarro eventually wins the fight and throws Supes back in jail. This actually happens every night between the two. Oh don't worry it only gets weirder from here guys. Mr. Mxajadvnaoihaoi is looking for Superman in the next issue, and we also see that Supergirl is a nun at, and I quote, "The Temple of Beatific Amazingly Wonderful Divine Holiness, Etc., Etc., Etc., Yadda, Yadda, Yadda" ...Anyway, she has visions of Superman's suffering. We cut back to Superman, who has escaped AGAIN, and reflects upon his mental state: for as long as he could remember, he had been escaping from Arkham, and brought back by Bizarro. Now, however, he is not so sure that this is how things always were, but every time he begins to gain a foggy memory of how things once were, they dissolve. This particular night, however, Bizarro does not come to attack him; instead, Lois takes him in on her private aircraft, under the guise of helping him gain his freedom. On the moon, the twisted earth's JLA - comprising of Poison Ivy as well as several other wholly new characters - make their appearance, and Bizarro briefly communicates with them before heading off to Earth once more with Scorch, a demon-like woman with powers over fire, to apprehend Superman. We then see Jimmy Olden caught in the middle of a battle between two of the dumbest things EVER. "The Flab" which is a fatass version of the Flash I could find a picture of, and the "noble and heroic Turtle" who bites Olsen, who turns him into "The Giant Turtle Boy" - a deliberate homage to one of his many Silver Age personas. Lois and Superman are easily tracked down by the two members of the JLA, and, much to Superman's surprise and confusion, Lois releases him and shares a kiss with him. As soon as he leaves Lois' ship, however, Superman is cornered by Bizarro and Scorch, and though he momentarily fights them off, he finds himself eaten by the mutated Jimmy Olsen. Because when you can have the Man of Steel be eaten by a fucking turtle, why the fuck not? Oh we aren't done yet ladies and gentlemen In the next issue, Superman is retrieved from Olsen's digestive system somehow, and finds himself onboard the S.S. Arkham, the "UFO of irrationality". He is greeted by Skizm, one of the members of the new JLA, who informs him that he has been brought there because his mind had began to take a "dangerous turn" toward the rational. After proving Skizm's words true by refusing to perform his daily "futile escape", Superman is thrown into a ward with his "fellow 2+2 offenders". Ok this is getting kind of long, so look forward to part 2, where I talk about more Batshit crazy stuff happens in this comic. Category:Blog posts